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Niagara on the Lake, Ontario, Canada
My virtue is that I say what I think, my vice that what I think doesn't amount to much.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

How to know if you’re reading a bad book

  1. Are the characters’ names impossible to pronounce? Alternatively, when you pronounce them, do you realize that they are actually homonyms for scary-sounding English words? If the book is not written by Tolkien and is not a parody, it might be a Bad Book.
  2. Do your villains have implicit/explicit homosexual tendencies that reflect the unthinking homophobia and unimaginative laziness of the author? If so, you might be reading a Bad Book.
  3. Do your characters experience instantaneous mind-blowing attraction that causes them to act in increasingly stupid ways so that the plot moves forward because only mind-numbing lust could possibly justify how ridiculously moronic the otherwise lethal/professional/intelligent characters are suddenly acting? If so, you might be reading a Bad Book.
  4. Does anyone lurk? If someone’s lurking, you might be reading a Bad Book

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