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Niagara on the Lake, Ontario, Canada
My virtue is that I say what I think, my vice that what I think doesn't amount to much.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

A (Late) Mother’s Day Poem

I couldn’t make it to your brunch
But I hope you had a lot of fun
I want to explain to you why I flaked
It has something to do with that guy I told you about, Jake?

We hung out last night and had an awesome time
We were still hanging out this morning at 9
And, well, you always told me I should seize the day
So I thought I would bring him to meet you, okay?

He’s totally sweet, and respects me, I swear
Which is why I knew you’d be fine when you saw his punk hair
I thought we’d stop on the way to buy you candy and flowers
But first he had to get ready; his hairstyle takes hours

He was in my bathroom forever in the morning
We were going to be late, so I gave him a warning
“If you don’t come out of there right now, I swear
My mom’s gonna kill you. Stop doing your hair!”

I swung open the door and felt my heart groan
He was sitting on the floor and texting on his phone
I grabbed the phone out of his hands on a hunch
He was texting some girl to meet up after brunch

The messages were clear, if you know what I mean
I kept asking him about it, but he wouldn’t come clean
So instead of spending Sunday celebrating my mom
I was in my apartment with this guy getting my heart stomped on

It was your special day and I missed because of some dude
And that’s not how you raised me, and it’s really quite rude
I should have sent roses to say sorry on Sunday
or made you a card, or breakfast on a tray

But instead I’ll just say thank you for raising me strong
And being there for me even when my choices turn out wrong
And although my Mother’s Day present is late
I think you’ll like it: I’m dumping Jake.

I love you, Mom. Happy (late) Mother’s Day.


The Hairpin

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