Monday, April 13, 2026

Shelley Winters - A Poem by Tim Dlugos

Shelley Winters
Shelley Winters you’re such a pig I love you
Not “even though” you’re ugly and never shut up
      and dress like the wife of a cabbie who won
      the Lottery, but because of it!
I think you’re a miserable actress, and didn’t
      even care when you drowned in The Poseidon
      Adventure, it was a terrible movie and you
      were just wretched all the way through.
I agree with Neal Freeman that, objectively, you
      are ALWAYS unsatisfactory
And incredibly tacky: I know someone who
      saw you stinking drunk and stumbling down a
      corridor in the Traymore, now you always
      remind me of Atlantic City, and that’s dreary.
Every time you’re on Dick Cavett I get embarrassed
      for him just watching you talk.
You never answer the questions. You never remotely
      answer the questions.
Shelley, sometimes I don’t think I can take it you
      depress me so, but you fascinate the hell out of
      me just the same
And I say with a sigh, “It’s okay, it’s just the
      way Shelley is.”
I’m so young, you’re so dumb, it never could work
      still I watch you every chance I get and love
      you, you’re such a mess
—Tim Dlugos

More: Literary Hub

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