Q: How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: The terrible sex had made him feel deeply interesting, like a murder victim.
Q:How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: The beast, which had represented his feelings, was dead. “I think I’ll do a pushup,” he announced to the sea. The sea respected him for it.
Q:How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: [4000 words from the narrator about his feelings on his childhood circumcision]
Q:How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:War is hell.
Q:How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:His alcoholism was different, because someday he was going to die.
Q:How many male novelists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:[Nothing happens for 450 pages; receives fourteen awards]
More at The Toast
Via the always hilarious Steve Vermillion
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