She had a deep, throaty laugh, like the sound a dog makes right before it throws up…

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest challenges entrants to compose opening sentences to the worst of all possible novels. It's that time of year again. 

The winner of the 2021 Grand Prize is this snippet by Stu Duval of Auckland, New Zealand:

A lecherous sunrise flaunted itself over a flatulent sea, ripping the obsidian bodice of night asunder with its rapacious fingers of gold, thus exposing her dusky bosom to the dawn’s ogling stare.

Randall Card of Bellingham, WA received Dishonorable Mention for this entry in the Romance category:

Brigid O’Hanion was the fairest flower of Southern womanhood, and Lt. Lance Beauregard was almost blind with lust for her, but after he slipped off her hoop skirt, unbuttoned her lacy blouse, untied her incredibly tight corset, dove beneath the rustling crinoline petticoats, and laboriously inched off her pantalets, he realized his mood had shifted and he now wondered if there was still some cold ham on the sideboard downstairs. 

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