Saturday, December 17, 2022

The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest 2022 Winners

Founded in 1982 at San Jose State University in California,  The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest challenges entrants to compose opening sentences to the worst of all possible novels.

The 2022 grand prize winner is a beauty:

I knew she was trouble the second she walked into my 24-hour deli, laundromat, and detective agency, and after dropping a load of unmentionables in one of the heavy-duty machines (a mistake that would soon turn deadly) she turned to me, asking for two things: find her missing husband and make her a salami on rye with spicy mustard, breaking into tears when I told her I couldn’t help — I was fresh out of salami.

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