- It’s almost 2:30 and you’ve been waiting since noon for your call to go through. You’ve used the time, though.
- As children, you and your siblings were featured on a radio quiz show. According to listeners, you were the most consistently rewarding speaker.
- You’re going to burn your fingers if you don’t put out that cigarette.
- You’ve just felt so destructive all week. It’s awful. You’re horrible.
- Your mother is ever so slightly insane.
More: The Toast