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Niagara on the Lake, Ontario, Canada
My virtue is that I say what I think, my vice that what I think doesn't amount to much.

Thursday, March 24, 2016

A Modern Literary Glossary

The Millions offers some baseline definitions for our ever-changing reading world:

Knausgård: To brood incessantly over seemingly trivial matters. (“Jim is in the study with the lights off, Knausgårding about the Celtics game.”)

Wuthering Heights: A method of killing any nascent interest in reading that a high-school student may have.

Go Set a Watchman: To reap an unscrupulous profit from the elderly and infirm. (“Gary sent his rich aunt a get-well card, but he’s just trying to Go Set a Watchman her.”)

Brick-and-Mortar Bookstore: A type of small business so unique and charming that Amazon.com — online purveyors of dishwashers, tube socks, and lice shampoo — is now attempting to make inroads in the market.

Audiobook: A method for allowing John Lithgow to pay the taxes on his second vacation home.

Library Book: A system of delivering old receipts, ancient ketchup stains, and dry, flattened boogers from one patron to the next.

Internet Humorist: A person who overestimates his own propensity for humor, and is grievously enabled by the Internet’s need for cheap, disposable content.

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